Saturday, November 19, 2016

Seven Things To Reflect Upon This Thanksgiving

Every year, single dads can find the holidays to be stressful. This time of year is tough, especially when splitting your time for the holidays. Tough on you, and tough on the kids. Yet, within the darkness of frustrations, you can find many reasons to be thankful. Here are seven this year to share at the dinner table.


1. Great To Be Dad - Every year, I tell me children how thankful I am to be a dad. It is the most important part of my life.


2. Traditions - I break out the traditions over the holidays. This is the best time of the year to establish them as part of your parental routine. Cooking, decorating, Game Night, Old movies, Pictures, and Story telling. You can also start new traditions. This is the time of year to embrace what is uniquely identifiable for your family.


3. Emotional Vulnerability - Every year I make a toast, and every year I cry. That's right, this big 6'4 guy shows his vulnerability. My kids are watching. In order for them to understand the importance of emotional intelligence, I demonstrate it through my actions. (Unintentionally of course) I enjoy sharing how I feel this time of year, as I want my children to understand it is okay to be vulnerable.


4. Expanding Upon Values - Children learn best around the special dinners and events around the Holidays. This is a great time to share with your children about the world we live in. Conversations open up pathways of learning for your kids. This time of year helps to shape empathy and compassion. Invite those that are lonely this year to the table, and your kids will learn that we have a responsibility greater than ourselves to the world.


5. Laughter - Trains, Plains and Automobiles. My yearly Thanksgiving tradition. Why? Because we laugh.....and laugh....and laugh. Laughter is a part of my life that I want my kids to remember. When I was going through a very painful divorce, my kids never felt the impact, due to my emphasis that my personal pain is just that. We had much less back then, yet we had so much more in some ways. Laughter is free, and plentiful if you allow it into your life. We continue to use the holidays as a time to be mischievous and fun. Break out a game like pie in the face, and everyone laughs. It's a big part of being a dad. You are the big goof in their life.


6.Christmas Music In November - Absolutely. Do not join the naysayers that claim Christmas comes to early. For your children, Christmas starts the day after the last Christmas. Embrace their excitement. I start listening to Sirius XM's holiday channel Nov 1st. My kids love it. You should too.
7. All Eyes Are On You - Your children see you as the example. You model what is, and can be for your kids. Try to remember, even when anxious about the holidays, that your kids are watching your reactions to this time of the year. Be the change, and have the greatest holiday celebrations you can. Your kids will remember this for the rest of their life.