Is It Time To Rethink "A Mother's Love?"

This might be one of those articles that can be divisive. Take a deep breathe if you are a mom, and think about this from an entirely different viewpoint if you struggle with the title or concept.

I scanned Facebook this weekend and read the Mother's Day posts from single parent families without a father figure or some women that are very controlling with their children. They posted the most interesting quotes that begin to fit into a pattern. That pastern is, "their love is the only love that is unconditional." The quotes tend to imply, "my love is better than anyone else's including dad."

Taking that deep breathe yet? It might seem like a concept that is way over the top, however we live in a world whereas words matter. For example, we as a society struggle with the phrase, "Marriage Equality" v. "Marriage Is Between A Man And A Woman." Another example is, "Black Lives Matter" v. "All Lives Matter." How we say things is equally important as how it is being heard.

How does a child hear the pronoun "my" which is in many quotes about unconditional love. "My unconditional love is like no other." If I was a child, would I hear it as mom loves me more than dad? Another common quote has to do with birth as in, hey I gave birth to you therefore I love you unconditionally. How do children without a mom it their life feel when they hear such a statement or read it on Facebook? Is the purpose of such a statement to imply, "Hey I gave birth to you, that outweighs any contribution by dad."

For children, they see both parents as equal partners in parenting. They truly do not think one replaces the other especially when it comes to being loved. A mother's love is important, special and truly an amazing gift for any child. The point is that it should not be weighted as something no one else can replace or provide for a child. Hopefully one day, we can move towards a parent's love. Neutral yet conveying the same point. Love is universal, especially in the eyes of a child.

Set The Example - Celebrate Mother's Day

Your most important role as a parent is role model. As a parent, you have to provide the positive example for your child regarding positive interactions with their mother. Childhood development is impacted by moral and social development based on positive-parent child interactions. Children that come from toxic environments have a higher probability of social emotional struggles throughout their life time. And the reverse is true, children that come from positive parenting usually have positive social outcomes. Which one do you want for your child?

As commonly stated, the marriage is over but the relationship with your child lasts a lifetime. Dads have to lead by example. This Mother's Day, be the positive example for your child by demonstrating the importance of mom in their life. Especially if you do not get along with the mother of your child.

Children will see your positive parenting as an alternative to power struggles that exist. This is so important for them to understand regarding future relationships in their own life. Not everything as to be a power struggle. You are the guide to future relationships.

Things to avoid? Don't worry what mom gets you for Father's Day. Just focus on the positive. Comparisons only make a child feel caught in the middle.

Need a starting point? Start with the birth of your child. How lucky they are to have 2 parents that love them. Keep it simple. Your comments will also help improve your relationship with the other parent. Even if it does not, when your children are adults, they will remember your examples of positive parenting.


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