"Actually....That's Me" - Paternity Fraud

Lecturing on Fatherhood is an emotional process for the audience. The facts of a fatherless nation often get challenged by members in the audience that want to believe they are false. The statistics are staggering. It is easier to say a dad is a bum than to acknowledge the system is stacked against fathers from the start. Some truths are very difficult for people to acknowledge and this is why we need to get the facts out about the fatherhood problem in our country.

Each presentation has the answers in the audience. When challenged, someone usually raises their hand and says, "that's me!" It can bring a room to silence depending on the subject. Recently, a topic that struck a nerve with the audience was Paternity Fraud. This happens when a mom knowingly puts another father on the birth certificate instead of the biological father. It can have severe consequences for children as they become adults.

Studies have shown that Paternity Fraud can range anywhere between 1 -30 percent. You might be surprised that the United States has a serious problem with Paternity Fraud. The Huffington Post recently reported that 30% of dads that pay child support are not the actual father. Birthing is entirely documented through the mother in the United States. Determining paternity is strictly through the courts. Fraud on a birth certificate is difficult to prove and the consequences often are assigned to the children that learn as adults they were lied to by their mother.

I was challenged at my last lecture by a mom that my research was hogwash. No matter what I provided for facts, she thought I was full of SH#$. And then a hand raised in the front row. A young lady said, 'Actually he is right, that person is me." She went on to tell a chilling story about growing up knowing "something" was wrong. She knew her dad was not her dad. She would learn utilizing social media that her assumptions were correct. At the age of 23, she met her biological father.

Paternity Fraud is a form of child abuse. Developmentally, a child is damaged by the deceit and it has long-term consequences. Our country has not responded to the seriousness of the crime. It will take advocacy and legislation to change the current status of paternity fraud. Until then, children will always be vulnerable.